Being skint

A touch of humour always helps and this one got published!

Being skint

My bras are all falling to bits,

There's nothing to hold up my tits!

The underwear's' shocking -

All ladders, no stocking,

You could say, it's reached the pits!

My music has bitten the dust,

(I've had to scrape off the rust)

Fed with with the Stones

I prefer Jesus Jones,

To get up to date is a must.

My oven shouldn't be here.

It's reached the end of an era.

All furniture displayed,

Is now threadbare and frayed,

I'd buy all new but it's dear.

My clothes are all yesteryear,

You might say I need some new gear!

Once a vogue fan

I now cherish Oxfam,

But I swallow my pride with cheer.

I'm into recycling most stuff,

Tho' cat's food and soap is quite tough.

Tea bags used twice

Don't taste very nice

The list is endless, it's tough.

Well now we've all had a laugh,

I ought to jump into the bath.

I must change the water

It's been there all quarter,

You can even sink a raft!

My bags are light for the dustmen,

Cats go elsewhere to rip open.

I sew all my shoes,

Use old bones for stews,

And value all seconds from friends.

The 'phone is on incoming calls,

I burn candles outside in the hall.

Bills not pain on blue

Guaranteed overdue

And it always feels extra cool.

I request after meals doggie bags,

As my cats' as thin as a fag!

But what they don't know

Is that when I get home,

I prepare a new feast and go mad!

My slippers are old and well crappy,

I've lined them with Gemmas' old nappy!

I don't care about cash -

Just give life a bash.

Who cares as long as we're happy!

Copyright Linda Lawrence

2nd January 1993