The trouble with the UK

The trouble with the UK...

My eyes have not streamed

(Had more funny dreams)

And I have not succumbed

To the cream that numbs

‘Coz that fucking itch

Has been such a bitch.

It’s been so much fun!

So much warmth from the sun!

It’s been easy to breathe;

Forever stuffed up I seethe.

And during this time away,

A few days on holiday;

Away from the sneezing

And the hot sun - not freezing!

My sinuses, ears, nose, and eyes

Have not run, got blocked up or cried.

No snot, gunk, nosebleed or headache

Or ‘take a painkiller for everyone’s sake’!

A few days without nasal spray -

Didn’t need the steroid today.

Nor antihistamines to calm histamines

Stayed packed, not to be seen.

Opened my eyes in the sea

To help the dry eye in me and

Swallowed enough of the ocean

To stop the ailments in motion

And my pollen infested ears

For a few days disappeared!

I’ve been told that Britain is cold

And London is icy, not paved with gold.

But it doesn’t stop the sniffing, wheezing,

And sneezing- even when it’s freezing!

And I as go through immigration

I don’t feel much elation

As by the time I reach home

I will start to moan.

The itch will be back

And before I hit the sack

My eyes will be full of tears

And won’t be too pleased.

From grass, pollen, all through the year.

None of these while away

Not even reactions holding a Ray!

Don’t mean to sound rude

But can only conclude

That during the last few days away

I can only be allergic to the UK.

Linda Lawrence

November 2019

Fallen

Fallen

The sun it kissed the

Rain today

And left a vivid colour

Display,

The rainbow left a colour

Trace

And with the leaves they

Embraced.

The colours yellow, amber,

Gold

Within the mildewed

Water mold

The road’s now slippery

Rot and decay,

The sky is moody

Dark and grey.

The trees, the breeze, the

Leaves they fall

With every gust and

Light rainfall.

Until the branches are stripped

And bare

And of the trees, they

Are threadbare.

  

It is the autumn equinox -

An hour back on our clocks!

The harvest moon and

Thanksgiving

The strongest emotions are

Reliving.

An avenue alight with

Brilliant Hues

The early mist, the morning

Dews

The cloud has almost met

The ground,

The leaves that fell have

Now turned brown.

This time of year

Can be contagious

And of the trees they

Are deciduous. 

The spiders’ cobwebs so

Intricate

The magical photosynthesis.

         

It’s getting dark, misty and

Cool,

Halloween and soon it’s Yule.

Summertime has disappeared;

I’ve fallen for this time of

Year.

Copyright Linda Lawrence

Autumn 2019

In our wisdom

In our wisdom

One day we may lose our teeth

All of them one by one.

It would be a huge relief

To just be left with some gums.

No flossing, or glossing,

No braces or toothpaste.

No dentist, hygienist

To say ‘they’re not the cleanest’!

No molars, incisors

Or toothbrush with mint;

Wisdoms' don’t make you wiser

Dentists just leave you skint!

No filings or drillings

Or extracts or tooth cracks

No invoice for billing.

It’s expensive - a fact.

No whitening, that’s frightening,

Oral surgery for cavities.

Your mouth now widening;

Will be over soon thankfully.

No crowns, nor frowns -

Decay’s bad today.

No plaque breakdowns

There’s no getting away.

After all that care, you despair

We’ll lose them anyway!

It’s got us all nowhere!

And you'll still have to pay!

Copyright Linda Lawrence

In a strange mood one autumnal evening 2019

Let's talk!

Let’s talk!

We need to talk

We need to touch base!

Have a good squawk

We need face to face.

We need a good chat

And want to catch up.

Not this WhatApp crap!

Am getting mixed up!

I don’t want to Skype

It’s like reality TV!

Don’t want to gripe -

Just want PC free!

And while the emojis

Are very amusing,

Some look like banshees

And somewhat confusing!

We need to speak

And tattle and babble

Over a glass or two

And a game of scrabble!

We need to chatter

Confab and converse;

Sit here and natter

Even if it’s perverse...

Is that you with an email?

This can be so unforgiving!

Or did you send a thumbnail

In fact, are you still living!

So let’s get together

Conversations’ got poor,

Just send me a text-

You only live next door!

Copyright Linda Lawrence

14^th October 2019

Get away from it all!

Get away from it all!

We’ve got to the stage and at our age,

Holidays for us are all the rage!

Either Newlywed or nearly dead,

It’s something we don’t want to disengage!

We just need a rest after a break

Gone is the zest, left is a headache

We need to sweat again on the internet

Get the best deal near the beach we fret.

Found the hotel but not the flight

Away from the cold in hot Fahrenheit!

It’s beginning to prove so elusive

To find something good that’s all inclusive!

No working cooking, or any housework,

Wanting to be spoilt somewhere with perks

Read through a book just for a change

A new experience to book and arrange.

Just look at this, only three room’s leftover,

A place in the sun while we fly over Dover!

Some films to view or Out of the blue;

And to the urge to sleep just takes over.

Got to the stage, where we love holidays!

Used to jet lag and flight delays.

Sleep in the sun, nocturnal fun,

At our age, we’ve only just begun!

Ticking things off on the bucket list

And think fuck it let’s just get pissed!

At our age, we really don’t care

As long as it’s hot and we’ll eventually get there.

But always a dread, is our stack of meds

We can be at times at loggerheads!

Just keep them by and kept in a sack-

It’ll save time when we have to pack.

Get away from it all, when we’ve just got home,

No time to waste, browse through Google chrome.

Get away from it all, book the next holiday

And let the salty blue sea blow the cobwebs away.

Dive deep below and don’t look back -

Meet a huge fish, have a panic attack!

Or up in the mountains on the longest zip wire

A long way below couldn’t get any higher.

 

At our age we need to do what we can

And eat that funny cake in Amsterdam!

The mortgage is paid, can’t comprehend it

Got some money spare and just want to spend it

Copyright Linda Lawrence

12^th September 2019