The trouble with the UK

The trouble with the UK...

My eyes have not streamed

(Had more funny dreams)

And I have not succumbed

To the cream that numbs

‘Coz that fucking itch

Has been such a bitch.

It’s been so much fun!

So much warmth from the sun!

It’s been easy to breathe;

Forever stuffed up I seethe.

And during this time away,

A few days on holiday;

Away from the sneezing

And the hot sun - not freezing!

My sinuses, ears, nose, and eyes

Have not run, got blocked up or cried.

No snot, gunk, nosebleed or headache

Or ‘take a painkiller for everyone’s sake’!

A few days without nasal spray -

Didn’t need the steroid today.

Nor antihistamines to calm histamines

Stayed packed, not to be seen.

Opened my eyes in the sea

To help the dry eye in me and

Swallowed enough of the ocean

To stop the ailments in motion

And my pollen infested ears

For a few days disappeared!

I’ve been told that Britain is cold

And London is icy, not paved with gold.

But it doesn’t stop the sniffing, wheezing,

And sneezing- even when it’s freezing!

And I as go through immigration

I don’t feel much elation

As by the time I reach home

I will start to moan.

The itch will be back

And before I hit the sack

My eyes will be full of tears

And won’t be too pleased.

From grass, pollen, all through the year.

None of these while away

Not even reactions holding a Ray!

Don’t mean to sound rude

But can only conclude

That during the last few days away

I can only be allergic to the UK.

Linda Lawrence

November 2019