Wrong orifice!

Wrong orifice!

All this trouble for just over an inch

Of the tube in my ear that’s made me flinch!

It’s crackled, squeaked, popped and fizzed -

(My fingers are crossed it’s only short-lived)

The drum has beat in double and half time

And wonder what’s deep in this ear hole of mine!

My auditory sense has been very dense,

There have been times it’s made me feel tense.

For the twentieth time, a look in my lug

Just to rule out it ain’t just a bug?

To look right into a deeper inspection,

More anti b’s - in case it’s an infection.

For the past few weeks, it’s felt like a curse

‘I think its glue ear’ said the kind nurse.

Among the wax, canal’s, balance and goo

To hold it all together some superglue?

I’ve asked the DJ’s to crank up the songs,

(Had a rough idea of what’s been wrong)

All I can hear are whistles and bells

And made good use of sprays and gels

But after all the bubbles and whizz

The GP treated the wrong orifice!

Prescribed the wrong meds – a little annoyed,

Ignoring my moans of hearing white noise!

The ringing and buzzing have been quite loud

It’s like trying to hear through a thick fog cloud.

Not too keen on this latest invasion

And hope this time it’s the right medication!

Now some stuff has got right up my nose

Maybe this time it might be right – who knows?

For something so tiny, this bloody Eustachian

Noisier than the rush hour at Euston station!

I just want my ears to be clear

And not wait any longer to be able to hear!

Linda Lawrence

 06/02/2020

It’s been quite a week for the NHS!