On the honey pot...

On the honey pot...

I’ve had some problems in my lady garden

And do apologise and beg your pardon

But feel as though I’ve been on fire -

It’s been sensitive at times and quite dire!

After all these years it’s quite uncanny

That now I suffer from an itchy fanny!

It’s been intense, it’s ruled my life

To scratch like mad – it’s been quite rife!

Have been examined down below,

It really has been quite a blow;

Prodded and poked high inside

No threshold of pain has made me cry.

It’s been hard to keep it in control

(Not so much of a manhole)

Deep inside I’ve felt so dead

As many times I have bled.

So many creams, prescribed oestrogen

All for my tender lower region!

Didn’t think I would succumb

To stuff that really helped it numb.

All of this to no avail

And all of this has all but failed.

But out of this unceasing frustration

Tried something out of desperation.

One that does help is in the sea,

The air, the sun, the beach palm tree!

The remedy for my lower parts,

Getting it down to a fine art!

It’s all fresh air, no nylon mix,

To try and find some kind of fix

And creams that only moisturise

Logically- as it’s been so dry!

Moisturising cream, humble Vaseline

Have begun to work like a dream!

So now a balance has been found

To help my problems underground!

January 2020