About those slugs...

Bad news

Bad news about my willies

As it seems they now have perished

Some hungry slimy molluscs

Have enjoyed their little relish.

I was in the running,

Contestants were engaged!

The little bastards saw me coming

Am standing here outraged!

I’ve nutured, sung and talked,

Fed and taken great care

It seems I have been stalked!

And for now I spit and swear!

They've nibbled my tomato leaves

Runner beans and other greens,

Those pesky little thieves!

Almost wiped the greenhouse clean.

And now my plants of pepper!

As soon as my back was turned

Am slowly losing my temper!

Just hope those chillies burned....

May 2014

Bloody Slugs

Bloody slugs are such a pain

Because of this persistent rain!

They munch away at all the leaves,

And really are such blatant thieves.

I took a look and had a glance

And saw they’d nibbled at my plants!

All the gardening and hard work,

Now I’m pissed off and really irked.

Wait until the Strawberries are red

And leave their gunk on them to spread.

The fruit and veg we put in the ground

Is now full of slug goo drowned

And all the time we patiently planted

The bastards took it all for granted!

The use of pellets to melt the snails,

Now we can hear their cries and wails.

And while it pelts and when it hails

They still leave a path of slimy trails.

The use of saline to make them ail

But will shoot them if all else fails.

There they are in black decay

And back they come to our dismay.

Lots of straw and salt put down

Never seems to keep them away we frown

And all our houses made from glass

Our situation is now impasse.

Of the hedgehogs in the grass

They’ll make them fuckers shit their arse............

May 2014