Changed

 Changed

I was no longer me

When I saw the sign for oncology.

How do I feel today?

I don't know -

Maybe every which way.

I'm not who I was

And think differently

And won't lie

Thought I might die.

Cannot equate

To this disease

And just asking

For you to understand 

And help me please.

I try to have fun,

Laugh

But only manage

Frightened paragraphs

Must not drink two point five

Otherwise

I won't stay alive.

Liver not happy,

Don't know why

Go to do the right thing

Important to try.

Slice by slice

They'll look inside

See if any organs

Are by the wayside.

Or fix this hernia!

It's getting worse!

Before they take me away

In a hearse.

My body ain't right 

It feels lumpy

And each time I feel or look,

It appears more bumpy.

A bypass for humour

It's very slowly going

And much of my thinking

Is there another tumour

Growing?

Puffed out

What's that about?

Some iron required?

Lack of concentration

Is getting worse

My frustration

It feels like a curse.

The medication leaving 

Ugly marks

And with that

Some mental scars.

And the likelihood

Of my livelihood

Will completely end.

Climbing the stairs

Reaching the top

Sit down quickly

Just want to flop.

And on exertion

The shortness of breathing

(and some wheezing)

Will be looked at soon

In a few afternoons

Another cannula

Another insertion.

Copyright Linda Lawrence

23^rd June 2026