Misshapen

 

  

Misshapen

 

I look at my misshapen breast

Knew there was something wrong.

I thought it might be cancer,

Had a feeling all along,

 

Before I got it looked at,

Before my breast got seen,

A deep sense of foreboding

It had even been foreseen.

 

I felt a lump deep inside

Leaning on nerve and tissue.

Every word in my head is the same

Fearful of what this might come to.

 

From anytime I wake up

Cancer’s the word in my head.

It overtakes my every thought

Until the time I go to bed.

 

It’s got a number and a grade

Which doesn’t make me worry less,

I am so frightened and afraid

Emotionally not at my best

 

The skin is puckered and dimpled

And growing inside me

An unwanted mass of cells dividing

Invading my privacy.

I might lose a breast

Am looking a little disfigured,

Making the most of what I have

As I look into the mirror.

Been through the  menopause

Going to go through another,

Estrogen for another five years

None of this is straight sailing .

 

Feeling numb about the future

Will the disease leave with the breast

My life in in your hands

The doctors will know best.

 

With thoughts from May 2025