For Sale

For Sale

After Christmas celebrations always a rush

To join the reduced price January crush.

But where are the sales

That should be on the rails?

And with all this triteness

And such impoliteness,

My bargain hunting is turning stale.

The chase to find a parking space;

At last! I embrace at a fast pace

Perfectly aligned between bay lines

To avoid a hefty New Year fine

And at such a cost,

In the cold and frost.

Has become such a rat race.

Look for Jeggins, search for Leggings,

Buy extra sheets and some bedding.

Bumpers of jumpers, a new warm coat

A scarf to wear around my throat.

Do I really need all this stuff?

I’ve had enough and out of puff

Need a cup of tea, I’m begging.

Looked through A’s to D’s, no F’s or E’s

And the smaller bras are such a squeeze.

With added pad and plungy bits,

For the ladies with smaller tits!

Surprise surprise, no bras my size!

Thought this problem would arise

But don’t want my boobs to freeze!

I need a wee after a cup of tea

I’ve looked around and cannot see.

It’s such a fight to hold on tight

Breaking my neck, must look a sight!

My face has turned a different hue,

The line for the loo now there are so few

A queue of twelve for just one of three.

The shops and crowds are so loud

Like a herd of elephants on a storm cloud!

No more clothes shopping, now I’m flopping,

Am stopping now and almost dropping.

Just want to be home and left alone

In the comfort of my warm home

In front of T.V. and channel hopping!

Copyright Linda Lawrence

5^th January 2015