On the outside looking in

On the outside looking in

On the outside I am laughing

On the inside I am crying

To tell you that I’m happy,

I know that would be lying.

Try to smile when things aren’t right

But the person you see isn’t me.

I’ve tried to explain about this plight

But know you wouldn’t agree.

Even little upsets will spark

Feelings of denial and doubt.

Tears behind closed doors so dark

Not knowing why or what about.

I do try and stay perky

And act at times quite quirky!

But underneath this whole facade

I don’t feel very chirpy.

Am always ready with a smile

Hang on to some sort of humour,

Turn my back on all hearsay,

Malicious gossip and rumour.

I’ll always say I’m good and well

While going through this private hell

And know there’s so much worse out there

When life seems hard to cope and bear.

This is going to sound pathetic –

Clouds have started to look black.

Must stay on the white synthetics.

Just don’t want to go back.

By taking such a small dose

Give back so much normality,

If you start to look on the inside

You’ll understand my plea.

16^th April 2014