I'm covered in muck and slippery mud -

Head to toe in good old clean muck!

Sorry Mum about my shirt

I accidently rolled over in the dirt!

Encrusted in some earth and soil

My whitish socks now need a boil;

Need a shower, am so unclean

And don't quite know where I've been?!

Never felt so yucky and grubby -

Need my Mums' help to come and scrub me!

My trainers are thick brown and grimy -

Now in the washing machine they go!

(Oh blimey....)

Who cares about a bit of mess?

But can't see my face, I must confess!

My football shirts' so new and recent

But laughing coz I'm so indecent!

Oh boy I'm like a slipperly squid

I really am a mucky kid!

I'm stuck on e-bay for a bid

Think I'll sell for about a quid!

For my son......