'Phone bill!
An envelope plopped on the floor -
A certain bill found its way to my door.
It’s from BT, oh no, I frown,
With all the other utilities
I now feel so down.
I open it up and am very perplexed,
Life is hard enough, whatever next?
I look and scan and gaze again
At my account opened up to test my brain.
There are a few pages numerically ordered;
My fingers now on very fast forward
As I look for the amount
That must be now due,
My curiosity growing
With all phone calls accrued.
Now as my hands begin to filch
We owe the costly sum …… of zilch!
Was it really necessary -
To kill a tree?
To send out a nothing bill to me?
We’re in debt by zero - indebted by noughts
I’m confused enough and in deep thought
We spend time to recycle, with less in the bin -
But the folks at BT cause a terrible sin!
By sending out paper in a pretty hue
A decent neat font – all in Royal blue!
The postman has walked all those miles
With five sheets of paper
For a fruitless demand!
But think it’s really rather funny
That you’ve sent out a bill
With the amount outstanding
That adds up to nil!
Please oh BT, don’t you hear this voice -
Would you stop sending out a useless invoice!
With nowt on the statement
But a flash world logo;
And a line of sweet nothings neatly in a row.
Whatever has the world become
By sending out bills for minus one?
An envelope plopped on the floor -
A certain bill found its way to my door.
It’s from BT, oh no, I frown,
With all the other utilities
I now feel so down.
I open it up and am very perplexed,
Life is hard enough, whatever next?
I look and scan and gaze again
At my account opened up to test my brain.
There are a few pages numerically ordered;
My fingers now on very fast forward
As I look for the amount
That must be now due,
My curiosity growing
With all phone calls accrued.
Now as my hands begin to filch
We owe the costly sum …… of zilch!
Was it really necessary -
To kill a tree?
To send out a nothing bill to me?
We’re in debt by zero - indebted by noughts
I’m confused enough and in deep thought
We spend time to recycle, with less in the bin -
But the folks at BT cause a terrible sin!
By sending out paper in a pretty hue
A decent neat font – all in Royal blue!
The postman has walked all those miles
With five sheets of paper
For a fruitless demand!
But think it’s really rather funny
That you’ve sent out a bill
With the amount outstanding
That adds up to nil!
Please oh BT, don’t you hear this voice -
Would you stop sending out a useless invoice!
With nowt on the statement
But a flash world logo;
And a line of sweet nothings neatly in a row.
Whatever has the world become
By sending out bills for minus one?
Copyright Linda Lawrence
28th March 2008
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