Phone Moan
It's about time I had a moan
About my so called mobile phone!
It’s well outside my comfort zone;
Surely I am not alone?!
I just want to have a chat
To someone about this and that!
But what are all these apps -
And what is whatsap
And all this other crap?
Really can't read road maps;
Or the Internet to browse at.
To make a call is my aim
Not to sit downloading games!
This is as light as a feather
But tells me all about the weather!
When all I want to do is blether!
Surely this couldn’t get any worse
Coz all I want is to converse!
Think I ought to be reimbursed!
I don't need a slow demo
About an unused written memo,
Or a loud bleep to remind
About my day of being assigned.
It seems I’ve lost my wi-fi
And really don’t know why.
Technically it’s easier said than done
And not finding my phone much fun.
Don't like to laugh and mock it
As now it’s taken a photo
Of the inside of my pocket!
Alongside of some old written docket;
And this phone is so tiny,
I can't find the recharge socket.
Am sure it's all down to hype
And really don't want to gripe
But how on earth can one Skype
On something so small?
Don’t understand this phone at all
When all I want to do
Is to make a telephone call!
Don’t need a task manager,
Or know the date on the calendar.
Don’t want the news
Or spend half the day
To work out how to snooze
Or keep on fretting
About the mobile phone settings!
And of this social hub
Surely it's easier to socialise
At the local pub?
And now I realise
I was disconnected when connected
And the contact who I contacted
Was not whom I expected!
I thought that they’d be a snag
When all I wanted was a chin wag!
Don’t mean to be a dinosaur
But my memory has got so poor.
Bring back the phones with a dial,
Easy to use and with a smile!
I remember the red telephone Booths
When Life was easier in my youth.
Linda Lawrence
3rd July 2015
