No idea!

No idea!

The garden’s had a soaking –

Something you thought

You’d never hear me say!

And in view of the bulbs and seeds

We needed some rain,

As they were planted with

Love just today.

I’ve sowed some Sage

Other herbs and Coriander,

It’s rather uncanny and strange

I want to tempt the Bees

And Butterflies

With a Buddleia -

Now I’m middle aged!

I’ve planted some fruit

Turned over a new leaf!

A plastic greenhouse to boot -

You must be in disbelief

That Blueberry, raspberry

And tomato and rocket

Have started to sprout shoots!

Am taking an interest

And wanting to grow

Some stuff of my own

Though I’ve been a bit slow,

But just to let you know

There’s even a Strawberry plant

On the shelves down below.

I hope the sunflowers

Grow high and reach heaven,

Then you can send a shower

If they did get so tall!

And you will be enthralled

That this useless gardener

Has no idea at all!

Linda Lawrence (For my parents)

26^th March 2014

About the missing plane

Now about that missing plane...

Not lost in the pouring rain

Nor the sea, hills and their terrain.

It’s not gone up in flames

Or fallen down a drain;

It’s all got very mundane

And it’s driving us insane!

Searched in every air lane -

From Spain to the Ukraine

It’s now taxing our brains!

(And the pilot’s not to blame)

But I think the truth is plain!

They took their instructions

From another source,

It’s an Alien abduction

That altered their course....

Copyright Linda Lawrence

18^th March 2014

It's only fair!

It’s only fair

The X and the Zed looked the same,

I wasn’t quite ready for this game!

The glass of wine the night before

Did nothing for my ratings score.

It really wasn’t that OK

To get stuck with the J and K;

The letters I would normally relish

Turned out that day to be quite hellish!

Didn’t quite know how I got to play,

The Q sat in my chosen few today

And my usual sense of strategy

Was this morning a tragedy.

Late nights and early mornings

(Should have had some kind of warning)

All I did was sit there yawning;

Huge minus score I’m now mourning.

My lady sat there poised and pleased

‘It’s good you won this game I teased’

The jobs we have to do to care

Lost to Scrabble – it’s only fair!

Linda Lawrence

18^th March 2014

Out on a limb!

Out on a limb

Am trying to be calm

Over my poorly arm -

It’s a wonder I’m not

On a funny farm!

I must be mistaken

Coz feels like I’ve taken

Viagra! My arm is so rigid!

It needs to reawaken.

My shoulders’ so stiff

I can’t even lift!

My armpits need shaving

They’re beginning to whiff!

Lack of mobility

Is really getting to me

And really need

To be pain free.

I give in to defeat

When there are dinners to eat,

It won’t be long

Before I eat with my feet.

Am in despair

Over blow drying my hair;

Getting in a state

On what bras to wear?

Can’t sleep at night

Coz it ain’t feeling right.

Ibuprofens’ my best friend

(Must take some tonight)

And how to get dressed

Is anyone’s guess

Am very slow,

Trying not to stress.

It’s been a year

And it’s still not quite clear.

It’s getting harder

To change the car gear

It’s been through sensations -

Been a physio patient.

Been pushed and pulled and

Don’t want operations!

Have been here before

Over what’s in store,

And a jab in the joint

Will hurt even more.

Am out on a limb -

I can’t even swim!

It’s feeling grim,

Patience is running thin.

This is not what I’ve chosen

And don’t want to be frozen!

Just want to be normal

After all this commotion.

Linda Lawrence

4^th  March 2014

On facebook games...!

Am going to bed;

Letters’ stuck in my head

Along with chocolate drink

That allows me to think

Getting the fidgets

Over colours and digits

And how to defeat

And not to be beat!

Getting in a spin

Coz I just want to win!

Wanting my Zed

On that triple red!

And while rubbing in cream,

Can only dream

Of Qat, Queer or Queen

On that lovely bright green!

I so refuse

To sit down and lose!

I try to stay humorous

When there are numerous

Consonants or vowels

And just sit and howl

When you get a good score

And my ratings’ got poor.

And the yellow and pink

Over this hot drink

Is delicious and cunning

To stay in the running!

Am watching anxiously

As I try every strategy

 But when we play games

Wining is my only aim!

Copyright Linda Lawrence

Screams of fright!

How on earth did it reach this stage of road rage?

And this normal calm person now has to engage

In slamming on brakes - now can’t overtake

And how much more of this can I partake?

You’ve slowed me down in this small town,

You’ve cut me up now I’m wearing a frown,

Am spitting feathers in this rain and weather -

We almost ended up as two cars stuck together!

How dare you pull out on that roundabout

In front of me, want to give you a clout!

Did you not see me in this little blue car?

Or is it because you just can’t see all that far?

I slipped and slid and almost skid

Into the flower beds in my takeover bid;

Where’s your etiquette and your give way -

Did you not bring it out with you today?

I wonder if you did acknowledge me

And noticed I almost met with a tree?

With no thanks to you, didn’t know what to do

I almost bit off more than I could chew!

You didn’t hear my screams of fright

Your driving today was not quite right.

It really was manic and my feelings of panic

Your learning’s must have been of pure organic.

Male or female, don’t know what you are,

You need lessons to learn how to drive your car!

Coz today you nearly never got that far

Your haphazard driving was quite bizarre.

I had to think quickly, my head in a spin

Didn’t quite know if I was going or been.

So before you embark on another drive,

A thought for this driver, who just survived!

Linda Lawrence

12^th February 2014

Is it time?

Is it time?

The river Lea is like the sea;

Gone the paddling for you and me.

We all kept cats in houses and flats

To keep at bay the river rats.

And as we dipped our infantile toes,

Walked along the slippery stepping stones.

The sandcastles at the seaside

Now used for bags for waves to ride.

As now it has become abhorrent

The flooding due to rains of torrents

And many pretty streams down south

Losing beginnings and ends of their mouth.

As we watch, so helpless as rivers swell

Under this spell of weather hell

(It really is no thanks to the Yanks

Our brooks are bursting their river banks)

And of the Gulf Stream that can’t be seen

Making mud canals from our pastures green.

Wish we had a magic potion

To stop our streets becoming oceans.

As white horses and deep sea spray

Now waiting for a victim of prey.

Buildings, land, drown in tidal waves

As railways get lost in salty burial graves.

We’ll soon need to wear arm bands

Now the water is reaching further inland

And now the floods have made their mark

We ask – is it time to build an ark?

Copyright Linda Lawrence

7^th February 2014