Chanksgiving

Chanksgiving

We’ve heard it can be infectious

It’s catching and contagious!

Want to avoid an epidemic,

Or even a pandemic!

Before it becomes too dangerous.

We enjoy a Chinese takeaway

An Asian holiday or breakaway.

Don’t want to feel fluey

After eating chop suey -

You need to keep it at bay.

It's getting a little frightening

Now it’s reached the shores of Brighton

With a name like Corona -

You don’t want to know her!

But we need to be enlightened.

We don’t like wearing masks

To us, it would be rather daft!

We don’t want to panic

Or let things get manic,

Keep it to yourself, we have to ask.

Some people have looked quite green

And have been kept in quarantine..

And as numbers double

There’s going to be trouble

As we disinfect and clean.

We really don’t know the root

Of the virus but know it’s acute..

It’s a new kind of strain

And need to restrain

Dress up in protective suits.

The world is getting nearer

And is becoming clearer

One germ that can spread

For miles and miles, we dread

As more people are looking queerer.

We’ve guidelines of isolation

The whole world and its nation.

Just stay inside

Before it spreads nationwide;

Tune in to a good radio station..

We need to put on the brakes

And stop eating our wildlife and snakes!

Think before a snack
Coz they will bite back

Before causing any new outbreaks.

Linda Lawrence

11^th February 2020

Wrong orifice!

Wrong orifice!

All this trouble for just over an inch

Of the tube in my ear that’s made me flinch!

It’s crackled, squeaked, popped and fizzed -

(My fingers are crossed it’s only short-lived)

The drum has beat in double and half time

And wonder what’s deep in this ear hole of mine!

My auditory sense has been very dense,

There have been times it’s made me feel tense.

For the twentieth time, a look in my lug

Just to rule out it ain’t just a bug?

To look right into a deeper inspection,

More anti b’s - in case it’s an infection.

For the past few weeks, it’s felt like a curse

‘I think its glue ear’ said the kind nurse.

Among the wax, canal’s, balance and goo

To hold it all together some superglue?

I’ve asked the DJ’s to crank up the songs,

(Had a rough idea of what’s been wrong)

All I can hear are whistles and bells

And made good use of sprays and gels

But after all the bubbles and whizz

The GP treated the wrong orifice!

Prescribed the wrong meds – a little annoyed,

Ignoring my moans of hearing white noise!

The ringing and buzzing have been quite loud

It’s like trying to hear through a thick fog cloud.

Not too keen on this latest invasion

And hope this time it’s the right medication!

Now some stuff has got right up my nose

Maybe this time it might be right – who knows?

For something so tiny, this bloody Eustachian

Noisier than the rush hour at Euston station!

I just want my ears to be clear

And not wait any longer to be able to hear!

Linda Lawrence

 06/02/2020

It’s been quite a week for the NHS!

A mindful of rubbish!

A mindful of rubbish

Developed some allergies later on in years

There’s been some frustration and a few tears.

Before leaving the house, I have to apply

Drops for my eye to stop the dry;

Can’t seem to get out of the door

Because of a daily ritual before!

The steroid spray for my sinuses

To help stop mucus and the dryness.

Many a watery eye and sneeze

Before I reach for my car keys!

And now my ear!

I just can’t hear!

It’s blocked, needs to be unstocked -

The ringing in it needs to be unlocked!

So reckon that there must be some connection

And think my head needs more protection.

The medicine box is like a toolbox

Hope it all goes before the spring equinox.

I don’t mean to make a fuss

But my head feels like it’s full of pus!

The pharmacist must see me coming

Another ailment that’s unbecoming.

Not sure what’s wrong with auditory

But reckon inside it must be gory....

Linda Lawrence

22/01/2020

Lessons learnt!

Lessons learnt!

There has been over time so many lessons learnt,

Time and time again, getting my fingers burnt!

Forward planning, making moves, feeling so much tension               Listening to what you’ve said but felt the apprehension.

Over time and several months, it’s been a learning curve,

There have been some moments when I’ve lost my nerve!

Trying to defend myself and then you’ve got me trapped.

Wondering how on earth I’m ever going to adapt.

There have been moments I have made mistakes;

It’s what you’ve relied on, causing me headaches!

And on umpteenth occasions, I’ve just weakly retreated,

Numerous times I have lost the fight feeling quite depleted.

I didn’t see that coming, from the other side -

Was trying to do the right thing, now you’ve hurt my pride!

One fatal act that took my strongest power

All I wanted to do after your move was just give up and cower!

There have been instances I’ve been in precarious positions.

Feel like I need more time, maybe more tuition?

Slipping up, another blunder, losing a precious piece;

A good opportunity for you, now my chances have decreased.

It’s been worth the struggle and such a lengthily wait

Now you’re stuck instead of me and you are in CHECKMATE!

Got you cornered, now your kings’ not got a chance

And after many weeks and months - I have advanced!

I have tried hard for so long, made attempts to fight you back

Now I’ve found a strategy of my own to readily attack!

It’s been a game of wills with a great deal of anticipation

Now I’ve won my first game of chess with so much elation!

Copyright Linda Lawrence

19th January 2020

On the honey pot...

On the honey pot...

I’ve had some problems in my lady garden

And do apologise and beg your pardon

But feel as though I’ve been on fire -

It’s been sensitive at times and quite dire!

After all these years it’s quite uncanny

That now I suffer from an itchy fanny!

It’s been intense, it’s ruled my life

To scratch like mad – it’s been quite rife!

Have been examined down below,

It really has been quite a blow;

Prodded and poked high inside

No threshold of pain has made me cry.

It’s been hard to keep it in control

(Not so much of a manhole)

Deep inside I’ve felt so dead

As many times I have bled.

So many creams, prescribed oestrogen

All for my tender lower region!

Didn’t think I would succumb

To stuff that really helped it numb.

All of this to no avail

And all of this has all but failed.

But out of this unceasing frustration

Tried something out of desperation.

One that does help is in the sea,

The air, the sun, the beach palm tree!

The remedy for my lower parts,

Getting it down to a fine art!

It’s all fresh air, no nylon mix,

To try and find some kind of fix

And creams that only moisturise

Logically- as it’s been so dry!

Moisturising cream, humble Vaseline

Have begun to work like a dream!

So now a balance has been found

To help my problems underground!

January 2020

Wealthy

Wealthy

I don’t mince my words or skirt around the edge;

Beat around the bush, or play mind games;

I try to be honest whenever I can,

You know where you are and I know where I am.

I don’t judge a book by its cover, but look deep inside,

Diplomatically try to stay right on your side.

Now and again, I might choose to white lie

To save your feelings - to keep your eyes dry.

There are at times, I’ll act stupid and daft -

It’s only because it keeps on making you laugh!

The words you hear are almost straight to the point,

It helps save the day and fails to disappoint.

There are many times you feel under the weather

There are many times, I’m at the end of my tether!

But there is a clear, silent understanding

That you’ve found, then it becomes less demanding.

I call a spade a spade and it’s helped pave the way,

To learn the work I love, the problems I see today.

After many years of training, much psychology

Nothing can prepare the sadness in life I see.

Realistic and practical, finding solutions,

Many a time seeking new resolutions.

At the end of the day and feeling so weary

But all that matters is you don’t feel so teary.

Not always so strong and needing support

And there have been times I have fallen short.

And maybe with you, there’s been a cloud on the horizon

And being realistic, it’s not at all surprising.

While I’m with you, what you see is what you get,

Although feeling humble, am forever in your debt.

Feeling so lucky, being so healthy.

This is what it means by being so wealthy.

Copyright Linda Lawrence

January 2020

The trouble with the UK

The trouble with the UK...

My eyes have not streamed

(Had more funny dreams)

And I have not succumbed

To the cream that numbs

‘Coz that fucking itch

Has been such a bitch.

It’s been so much fun!

So much warmth from the sun!

It’s been easy to breathe;

Forever stuffed up I seethe.

And during this time away,

A few days on holiday;

Away from the sneezing

And the hot sun - not freezing!

My sinuses, ears, nose, and eyes

Have not run, got blocked up or cried.

No snot, gunk, nosebleed or headache

Or ‘take a painkiller for everyone’s sake’!

A few days without nasal spray -

Didn’t need the steroid today.

Nor antihistamines to calm histamines

Stayed packed, not to be seen.

Opened my eyes in the sea

To help the dry eye in me and

Swallowed enough of the ocean

To stop the ailments in motion

And my pollen infested ears

For a few days disappeared!

I’ve been told that Britain is cold

And London is icy, not paved with gold.

But it doesn’t stop the sniffing, wheezing,

And sneezing- even when it’s freezing!

And I as go through immigration

I don’t feel much elation

As by the time I reach home

I will start to moan.

The itch will be back

And before I hit the sack

My eyes will be full of tears

And won’t be too pleased.

From grass, pollen, all through the year.

None of these while away

Not even reactions holding a Ray!

Don’t mean to sound rude

But can only conclude

That during the last few days away

I can only be allergic to the UK.

Linda Lawrence

November 2019