Forgetful!

Forgetful!

I regret, I forget!
Am fretting and getting
Frustrated!

Feel so isolated
For not remembering!

Am trembling

That I can’t recall

Not much at all!

It’s on the tip of my tongue

Which ain’t much fun.

Words have runaway

Not sure what way!

It becomes unbearable

If it’s not memorable.

But on reflection

That lack of recollection

Need an injection,

Not disconnection

With many things

That forgetting brings!

I feel quite rotten
As now I’ve forgotten
Your name; It's a pain
And sounds insane, but
I'm not to blame
That my brain
Is not what it was
And it's all because
I'm older and colder,
My life's in a folder!
As a reminder 
(All neat in pretty binders)

Just so sorry

That I appear off my trolley!

Just so scatterbrained

And cannot sustain

Or maintain

My memory!

And no one’s explained

That it can’t be retained!

Copyright Linda Lawrence

3^rd June 2014

About those slugs...

Bad news

Bad news about my willies

As it seems they now have perished

Some hungry slimy molluscs

Have enjoyed their little relish.

I was in the running,

Contestants were engaged!

The little bastards saw me coming

Am standing here outraged!

I’ve nutured, sung and talked,

Fed and taken great care

It seems I have been stalked!

And for now I spit and swear!

They've nibbled my tomato leaves

Runner beans and other greens,

Those pesky little thieves!

Almost wiped the greenhouse clean.

And now my plants of pepper!

As soon as my back was turned

Am slowly losing my temper!

Just hope those chillies burned....

May 2014

Bloody Slugs

Bloody slugs are such a pain

Because of this persistent rain!

They munch away at all the leaves,

And really are such blatant thieves.

I took a look and had a glance

And saw they’d nibbled at my plants!

All the gardening and hard work,

Now I’m pissed off and really irked.

Wait until the Strawberries are red

And leave their gunk on them to spread.

The fruit and veg we put in the ground

Is now full of slug goo drowned

And all the time we patiently planted

The bastards took it all for granted!

The use of pellets to melt the snails,

Now we can hear their cries and wails.

And while it pelts and when it hails

They still leave a path of slimy trails.

The use of saline to make them ail

But will shoot them if all else fails.

There they are in black decay

And back they come to our dismay.

Lots of straw and salt put down

Never seems to keep them away we frown

And all our houses made from glass

Our situation is now impasse.

Of the hedgehogs in the grass

They’ll make them fuckers shit their arse............

May 2014

Sports car

Sports car

Once upon a time she used to drive a sports car

But nowadays she doesn’t get very far.

And these last few years she is not so agile,

Every day she becomes a little more fragile.

She’s very elderly, quickly feels the cold

Old age has crept up and has taken hold.

Usually so healthy who now needs assistance

Now not so wealthy with little resistance.

‘I hate being like this, relying on you,

From combing my hair to making a brew;

Watching and waiting after my bathe

But glad you’re there, as I don’t feel very brave.’

She’s lived a life so busy and full,

Now she can’t do that much at all.

She sits and sleeps for most of the day,

Her aches and pains will not go away.

In her twilight years she has become

A burden to her children, doesn’t feel like mum.

Her hair is thin so is her paper skin.

Years have passed since she lost next of kin.

It is no fun but she takes me aside

‘But I can talk and still have all my pride!

I do try to laugh and have some fun

In retirement now my work is all done.

I’ve lost some use of my limbs and my teeth

But I’m still a young, fit girl underneath!

I might be sluggish and somewhat slow

But I still have my brains and some time to go!

We might have this chat more than twice

As I’m a little forgetful and less precise

But you know I have cleaners and carers,

Have my meals cooked, life couldn’t be fairer!

So don’t feel so sorry I’ve had a good time

And really deep down, I’m still in my prime!

I still drive that sports car when I reminisce

And of my age, I try to dismiss!'

Linda Lawrence

21^st May 2014

On the outside looking in

On the outside looking in

On the outside I am laughing

On the inside I am crying

To tell you that I’m happy,

I know that would be lying.

Try to smile when things aren’t right

But the person you see isn’t me.

I’ve tried to explain about this plight

But know you wouldn’t agree.

Even little upsets will spark

Feelings of denial and doubt.

Tears behind closed doors so dark

Not knowing why or what about.

I do try and stay perky

And act at times quite quirky!

But underneath this whole facade

I don’t feel very chirpy.

Am always ready with a smile

Hang on to some sort of humour,

Turn my back on all hearsay,

Malicious gossip and rumour.

I’ll always say I’m good and well

While going through this private hell

And know there’s so much worse out there

When life seems hard to cope and bear.

This is going to sound pathetic –

Clouds have started to look black.

Must stay on the white synthetics.

Just don’t want to go back.

By taking such a small dose

Give back so much normality,

If you start to look on the inside

You’ll understand my plea.

16^th April 2014

Swelling in the dung!

Swelling in the dung

Am growing Willie chillies

Among the daffs and lilies,

With the tulips and the crocus

And simply must stay focused!

It’s pleasurable meanwhile

With a fruit of a touch penile;

But must watch my finger tips

On garden sticks with little pricks!

Growing with the other vegetables

With neatly written labels

All printed in smart italic

With the veg that is quite phallic.

I’ve grown them from seed

With the onions and the Swede

In the midst of grass and reed -

A rude looking kind of breed!

I’m having a little fun

Growing ding dongs in the sun;

They’ve only just begun

Getting swollen in the dung.

They are an organ shape

But taste nice in moose and cake

And chocolate I might add!

Before they mould and just go bad.

I wonder why they’re hot

Tho their name suggests they’re not?

As they burn my tongue and lips,

Wish I’d stuck with fish and chips!

My neighbour has misguided

Between the real thing and a hybrid!

I hope to see you in the spring

And enjoy a little fling.....

Inspired by Jenny

11^th April 2014

No idea!

No idea!

The garden’s had a soaking –

Something you thought

You’d never hear me say!

And in view of the bulbs and seeds

We needed some rain,

As they were planted with

Love just today.

I’ve sowed some Sage

Other herbs and Coriander,

It’s rather uncanny and strange

I want to tempt the Bees

And Butterflies

With a Buddleia -

Now I’m middle aged!

I’ve planted some fruit

Turned over a new leaf!

A plastic greenhouse to boot -

You must be in disbelief

That Blueberry, raspberry

And tomato and rocket

Have started to sprout shoots!

Am taking an interest

And wanting to grow

Some stuff of my own

Though I’ve been a bit slow,

But just to let you know

There’s even a Strawberry plant

On the shelves down below.

I hope the sunflowers

Grow high and reach heaven,

Then you can send a shower

If they did get so tall!

And you will be enthralled

That this useless gardener

Has no idea at all!

Linda Lawrence (For my parents)

26^th March 2014

About the missing plane

Now about that missing plane...

Not lost in the pouring rain

Nor the sea, hills and their terrain.

It’s not gone up in flames

Or fallen down a drain;

It’s all got very mundane

And it’s driving us insane!

Searched in every air lane -

From Spain to the Ukraine

It’s now taxing our brains!

(And the pilot’s not to blame)

But I think the truth is plain!

They took their instructions

From another source,

It’s an Alien abduction

That altered their course....

Copyright Linda Lawrence

18^th March 2014