Thursday, 13 March 2008

Some gross poems for kids/Voices from the playground...

Ugh....

Worms 

Poor little worms just trying to survive -
Poor little worms they’re trying just to thrive!
Eating my digested food and making me feel empty,
Even though I’ve had my seconds and have eaten plenty!

It’s been a number of days I’ve had some dirt in both my eyes
It must be d
éjà vu, it’s hardly a surprise!
They’ve found their way back again, a tiny comfort zone
Inside my little body
they've made themselves at home!

Now I’ve found white wriggling threads buried in my faeces
Fancy living in such a mess with all those other bits and pieces!
Starting out at one end and then coming out the other;
Don’t think they should be here, going to have to tell my mother!

Growing longer by the day, living in my intestine,
Crawling through my stomach and gut with all the other enzymes.
Now I’m going to have to swallow an anti insect pill
And those poor little wriggly worms are going to feel quite ill.

I’ve learnt the hard way to thoroughly wash my hands and nails,
Coz I don’t want another infestation to crawl out of my bowel.
I don't want to feel the urge to scratch my inflamed bottom
And wake up in the night feeling itchy, red and rotten!
 

Copyright Linda Lawrence

16th June 2008
Inspirations from the playground.......!


Spot!

On my face there is a spot,
It’s 
red and yellow and feels quite hot.
Think its grown overnight;
It’s inflamed and looks such a sight!
I’ve picked it,
Flicked it,
Pricked it,
Now I’m sick of it!
Can’t seem to squeeze it
Unable to try and please it.
(It’s just one disgusting zit!)
It’s had days of TCP-
And lots of gentle TLC!
Around the edge it’s very red
And on the top, a crusty yellow head.
No matter how much it’s had a fuss
The damn thing’s still there and full of pus.

Linda Lawrence

26th November 2007

Bogey!
I’ve got a runny bogey
It’s slimy and it’s green,
I’m trying to ignore it
Not wanting to be seen.

I haven’t got a tissue -
Think I’ll sniff it up;
Up my nose now down my throat
With all the other dust and muck!

It’s gooey and it sticks;
It’s salty and it’s tasty.
I’m looking over at my Dad
He’s looking pale and pasty.

It’s tacky and it’s thick
Getting nearer to my lip;
Think I’ve got to have to pick
With my finger tip!

Living up my nose
Is a lot of snot,
It’s slippery and it’s wet
And feeling moist and hot.

Think I’ll have to cuff the rest
On my clean white shirt,
I’m sure my Mum wont notice
With all the other dirt?

It’s no fun in blowing it
I’d rather pick it out,
Stick it under the school desk
When no one is about.
Copyright Linda Lawrence

25th February 2008



Tick

I’ve been scratching for some days now and my scalp is very red,
I’m wondering what kind of parasite is living on my head?
It seems to be much worse at night, while I lay tucked up in bed;
Wish it would just crawl away and live next door instead!

I wonder what kind of bloodsucker would want to make me itch.
It’s making me so nervous; my eye now has a twitch!
I’ve looked in all the insect books to see what one it is -

My hair to you must feel so long and soft and rich!
Its times like these I feel that life isn’t being fair -
Why should a little mite like this lay eggs all though my hair?
I keep on getting funny looks and the other kids, they stare
At the minute creatures that chose my head intending to stay there!

I don’t know how they got here, but think someone passed them on,
Not really knowing where they might have been and where they could come from.
I hope it isn’t too long before they are all gone
But to pass them on to other kids, I know that would be wrong.

They’ve got to go, my head is sore, my mum she hears me moan,
I see the little mite that wriggles on my nit comb!
You’ve had your moment living in my hair where you’ve been free to roam -
It really is about high time you found another home!

I’m using hair conditioner because I know it’s been well tested
And other lice killing antidotes my mother has invested.
I’m feeling very out of sorts knowing what those pests did
And looking in the mirror now to see that I’m infested.

I’ve used some cider vinegar and some tea tree oil shampoo
It’s supposed to make you want to flee, so now’s the time to shooo!
Now go and find another head to go and do your poo -
Now that you have fed off me, multiplied and grew!

You’ve kept me awake at night and worried me out of my wits!
Now I know all about you, filthy little tick!
You need to be washed out and rinsed away you scrounging twit!
The time has come to an end, creepy crawly nit.

Linda Lawrence

Copyright 18th January 2008

Wart

I’ve got a wart and it’s stuck
On my hand – it’s my bad luck!
I’ve picked it, flicked it
Filed it and gnarled it,
Rubbed it – scrubbed it!
Wished away with it -
I’ve even got someone to pay for it!
I’ve tried to Freeze it,
Squeeze it
I’ve even tried to seize it;
But it’s still there!
It’s just not fair!
I’ve covered it and smothered it
Snipped at it – clipped at it
Hit it! Bit it!
(Although I hate to admit it)
I’ve pushed it, pulled it
Yanked it – blanked it!
I know in time it will go away
It will disappear when I least expect one day

Linda Lawrence

28th March 2007

Sick!

Orange, yellow watery red
Want to stay all day in bed.
Will it go away if I turn on my side?
I take deeper breaths (and getting tired).
Keep looking down at the bucket.
Hoping I don’t need it damn it!
Got another one of those sickly gut aches
And run to the bathroom before it’s too late!
Now puking up my stomach bile
It smells of hell, tastes hot and vile
As my stomach expels the stench it emits;
I repel at the sight of my insides and vomit
I see the contents of yesterday’s dinner,
Diced carrots, tomatoes, feeling a lot thinner.
My throat, it’s sore as it burns,
Over and over my tummy churns.
Just don’t know where I caught this germ.

Copyright Linda Lawrence
14th March updated 28th June 2008

Blood chocolate

I've had a wobbly tooth
But if you wanna know the truth -
Before I yanked it from my gob
That sharp edge made my gums throb.
It felt so sore and bled a lot;
Some bloody tissues now I've got!
I'm a bit upset, it really pains -
Felt like pulled out half my brains
After some tugging and swift extraction
My Mum gave me something yummy for distraction
Some chocolate!
To cheer me up!
Now red and brown in my drinking cup……

For Joseph

1st August 2009

Friday, 15 February 2008

Jasmine and the magic Fairy - Short story

Jasmine and the magic Fairy

Jasmine had been feeling poorly with a bad cold for almost a week now. She had missed out on the school nativity play which she had been chosen to be a fairy and was so upset not to be able to wear the pretty pink and blue wings Mummy had made for her and her soft snow white leotard, baby pink ballet shoes and never to hold the long magic glittery silver wand that was kept at school in a special dressing up box. Fairies were magic and Jasmine had made plans to use her special magic to grant the wishes for her younger brother, George to bring a puppy to him on Christmas day and for herself, the beautiful little dolly who walked and cried.

It was just Mummy, Jasmine and George that lived in a cosy, warm cottage just on the edge of a forest which looked like a magical white glowing wonderland when the snow fell. Jasmine remembered last year when she and George built the biggest snowman which stayed there for all of Christmas.

Mummy knew Jasmine was upset to have missed her play but could not send her in with a temperature and tried to cheer her up by helping put the white, silvery Christmas tree up in their front room with the lovely colourful green and red baubles and of course - the beautiful fairy with the white lace dress that sat on the top branch that watched over and looked after them. Jasmine cried when the fairy lights didn’t work and copied Mummy twiddling with one of the bulbs when she thought she saw a tiny pink twinkling light coming from the bulb and the next thing she knew, the tinniest and brightest of lights came floating slowly towards her until Jasmine saw it was a real fairy! Mummy and George had disappeared into another room and as the little fairy landed in Jasmine’s hand, the fairy began to speak in a quiet and gentle voice, waving her magic wand around leaving a trail of sparkly silver glitter over Jasmines’ hands. “What would be your dearest wish for Christmas Jasmine?” The little fairy said. “Oh a special dolly for me and a puppy for George and for Mummy to be happy!” Jasmine replied. “I wanted to be a fairy in my school play, but I’ve had a bad cold and I’m so upset that my Mum kept me home”. “Don’t cry Jasmine, fairies can make a little magic, but you have to be a good girl for Mummy and try to be helpful”.

Just then, George ran into the front room with a box of wooden soldiers and the fairy quickly jumped back into the bulb on the fairy lights.

Mummy had been sad for a little while, because Daddy had been cruel and lived somewhere else, but Jasmine knew she had been a little happier recently because Mummy had been smiling a little more and told her that she and George might have a ‘special visitor’ over the Christmas holiday. At least this was something Jasmine could look forward to and perhaps this visitor was the real Father Christmas that would leave the presents that she wished for this year.

As the first snowdrop fell from the sky that afternoon, she hoped that she and George could build another big snowman like last year and as she looked out of the window, she saw a shiny red car park outside their cottage and out got the kindest looking and very tall man she had ever seen with the most adorable sandy coloured Labrador walking towards their house! Then Mummy said, “Jasmine and George, this is Colin and Goldie! They have come to live with us”.

The same afternoon, four of Jasmine’s school friends and her class teacher knocked at her door and knowing Jasmine had been unwell they gave her a pretty green and red gift wrapped present and as she unwrapped her new Dolly on Christmas day, the fairy lights on the Christmas tree started to twinkle.

Copyright Linda Lawrence


30th November 2007

Sunday, 10 February 2008

Disillusioned

Heavy stuff thinking about someone who perhaps doesn't like me, but I do not know why.

Disillusioned

My problems solved under my sheets
Can hear the sound of my own heartbeat.
I close my eyes, drift off to sleep
And in my dreams I plan to meet
the demons I hope to exorcise
Before the morning sun will rise.
A new scenario I begin to analyse,
Another failure - albeit I've tried.
Now full of my own self criticise,
My mental strength quickly vaporised.
A plan that's already been thwarted,
Not talked about, quickly aborted.
(My psyche that's now so distorted).
And because of lack of indiscretion
There are some things not yet mentioned.
I'll imagine my way out of this mess,
open my eyes to life afresh.
Rid all my thoughts that have been troubled,
The misconceptions that have been muddled.
The wires that are crossed in my mind
Caused by people that have been unkind.
Can't cope with all this condescending -
Seems like now it's never ending.
And the person that I love the most,
Gets pushed away and can't get close.
I envisage my thoughts that feel so right,
what I should have realised in hindsight.
Now my judgement has become so clear,
As these confused feelings evaporate in tears.
These struggles begin to crystallise
As the sun cycle begins to rise.
But now it's reached its pitch and depth,
I'm learning to give a long arm length.
But as I awake to reality
My dreams were only temporary.


Copyright Linda Lawrence

27th January 2008

Saturday, 29 December 2007

Always

For my children
Always
~~
As long as my heart beats in my chest
For you I'll always do my best;
As long as I see the sun in the sky,
You'll know I'll always be close by.
Wherever you decide to live
You know I'll always try and give.
As long as you will try and respect;
You know I'll always try and protect.
Whatever happens to make you cry
You know I'll always try to take your side.
As long as you stay truthful to me -
I'll love you unconditionally.
As long as you smile and I hear your laughter,
I'll always be happy ever after.
I know that in my heart of hearts
We will never be that far apart.
And when my time comes, I'll be a shining star
Still looking after you from afar.
Copyright Linda Lawrence

26th December 2007

Ugh! Brussels Sprouts!

With thoughts of Christmas.........

Ugh! Brussel Sprouts!

They're bought in job lots every year
To eat them with our wine and beer,.
They look and taste like rotting greens
And smell like tins of cold baked beans!
They even have the same outcome
As wind rumbles around in our tums.
Our usual sunny dispositions
Displeased by a cruel Yule tide tradition.
We ask why on Festive plate we allow
The horrible Brussel, it tastes so foul?
The humble looking little green bud -
We sit there, retching up the cud.
The mini cabbage will make us gag
That's only fit for a black bin bag!
Then more revolt - the veg and spuds
Served up warm for tomorrows' lunch!
That end up in a bubble and squeak,
Those leftovers' fried in oil so deep.
For Veggies' that are bought so seldom,
Why don't we just send them all to Belgium?
And most will end up in the bin -
Better out then in - they're so disgusting!

I know there's some who enjoy a Brussel
With vitamins to build up body and muscle,
While others like their taste and pungency,
But personally - they're really not for me

Copyright Linda Lawrence 
2007

29th December 2007

Friday, 14 December 2007

My arm is in a sling...

Having recently lost a fight with a wheelie bin, ended up having my thumb nail off!

My arm is in a sling!

My arm is in a sling~
Was attacked by a wheelie bin!
Am incapacitated
And very aggravated
By the cumbersome plastic thing.

My thumb nails' been taken away,
The house is in disarray.
Can't scratch my bum
Because of my sore thumb,
Can't even use the underarm spray!

Ain't feeling none too pleased,
(Mixed with my flesh are some mushy peas)
But my thumb got stuck
Shouted "damn and fuck"
But the lid, by then made its' seize!

Am having problems washing my bits
And putting a bra upon my tits,
At night I do fidget
All because of this digit
And am traumatised out of my wits!

I do not want to alarm
But only have use of one arm!
Can't shave my leg hair
And armpits - don't go there!
Am trying to stay very calm.

Don't want to make a fuss
But feeling a little bit crushed,
Can't begin to cook
Or read a book,
Or even get friendly with lust!

It isn't every day
A bin makes you feel this way,
So to the council of Sussex West
I'm not at my best

You've got a lot to answer for today!

Copyright Linda Lawrence

8th December 2007

Saturday, 3 November 2007

Stench

Having got home from at evening shift, this smell wafted up my nose.......!

There was this stench
It stunk to high heaven!
It was getting late~
Way past eleven.
***
I looked high and low;
Under, over and in the bed.
Couldn't find where the reek was
Not even in the shed!
***
I checked the carpet on the floor
The bathroom and the loo
Even peeped behind the door
Whiffed the washing basket too!
***
I looked in the sidebourd
Under the sink
But just couldn't find
The cause of the stink!
***
I peered under the chairs
The bench as well,
The cupbourd under the stairs
But could not detect that smell!
***
It followed me everywhere
Where did it belong?
I had to find
This terrible pong.
***
I peeked in the wardrobe,
Shook the sheets
And finally found that source.......
They were my rancid feet!
***
Copyright Linda Lawrence
2nd November 2007