There's no such thing

For Joseph, only I haven't told him the bad news yet..........!

There's no such thing

~

How disappointing this will be-

There's no real fairy on the Christmas tree,

No Elves, nor goblins or pixies in sight;

Or a Father Christmas who creeps in late at night.

~

I think you're old enough for the truth

That there's no pretty fairy that collected your tooth.

I pass on to you what I have sadly been told,

That at the end of the rainbow there's no pot of gold.

~

No reindeer riding over our cold Christmas sky,

No toys made in Lapland, so why do you we lie?

The UFO's only in your minds' eye

As an invisible spaceship orbits and flies.

~

And the ghost that you said freaked you out

They don't exist - there's no phantom about!

Or angels with wings nor magic fairy dust

And neither have people been born on cusps.

~

All your imaginary friends' are in your head -

And what of the bogeyman under your bed?

I'm sorry to say there's no fairyland,

But know all this magic has lent a hand.

~

It's Mum and Dad who hid your teeth

Somewhere high and out of reach.

We made an effort and made a fuss

And now you know it was really us!

But through childhood they've helped you to grow

Into a perfect little boy so lovely to know.

~

Copyright Linda Lawrence
16th October 2007

Can I help you?

Can I help you?

I'm not just a woman behind a till
Who scans your Ovaltine and Aubergines
Or painkilling pills.
I'm not just a simpleton on a checkout, by the way
And don't think you can take it out on me
For your bad day,
But for the few minutes you are here
I'll listen to what you have to say.

Don't look at me as if I'm unintelligent
Because I've rung the wrong amount
Or lost my count;
The automation is to blame,
But you are quick to claim
Because I look a little lame;
But as your eyes meet mine that glare, I will have to accept
And bite my tongue accepting the customer is always correct.

There's a split in your bag
And by the time you reach me,
Shopping's become a terrible drag;
And now I hear you,
"Shouldn't have picked this queue
It's wasting too much of my precious time!
I only needed milk, some apples and bread, but instead
There was a special offer on Rose Wine for £2.99".

Because you think your job is more demanding
Or you've a bigger salary
Doesn't make you any better than me!
And as you start to become more commanding
As I scan your tins of passata
Some garlic puree and cream of tartar,
My humble offer of putting points on your card
And doing you a small favour now becomes very hard.

For the umpteenth time I ask for a card to swipe
And enquire that you might like
Me to help you pack?
And for the hundredth time
While you're a customer of mine
You might even need some cash back?
And as I start getting tongue tied
I'm getting confused and tired
I am a human being behind the checkout -Freezing my hands on your frozen food,
Ignoring that you're being rude
(But the customer is always right)
And now I've offered to help you pack
Because of the time you lack,
I'll stay in a good mood
And wave you off with a fond goodnight.
Can I help you?


Copyright Linda Lawrence

3rd October 2007